January 18, 2011

Ready Or Not

In less than four months, my baby will turn three... I'm still trying to decide if I want to organize a party or just make it strictly relatives. Most of all, I have been going through Madi's first and second birthday photos and reminiscing how she was before. She has really grown a lot and I can't believe it. I'm happy to realize all the developments and yet sad to think how fast time flies... I don't want her to grow too quickly.

It used to be (during the newborn stage to one year old) exciting with all the firsts: smile, laugh, word, roll, step, tooth... etc. Then she turns two and she's walking, talking too much, and tells you what she wants and all that (she now has a mind of her own, so to speak). They say "terrible two" so does that mean I should be looking forward for her to turn three? I know she could be a pain in the neck sometimes at this age (oh boy... I'm just looking at all the mess right now in front of me while writing this) but somehow I wish she could remain two for a little bit longer because I love how sweet she is right now, how she would beg her dad to not work and just stay home with us, that she would kiss me every time I ask, that she never wants me to leave her side... 

I just can't imagine my life without her yet. It may sound selfish if I say that I'm scared when she goes to school and have friends, she'll be happier without me around but that's how I feel sometimes. I'm afraid when the time comes she'd be embarrass to kiss and hug me in front of other people... What can I do, right? Growing up is a part of life and I have to accept the fact that whether I am ready or not, she will grow and have a life of her own. I just wish that I will be able to be a good mother to her and I wish she would grow to be a good person too and have a good life. She's the best thing to me...