Things Could Have Been Worse...

I have been hurting, sad, confused, and mad lately. Believe me, if I could write something happy or inspiring, I would.

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I'm trying... I am working on it... trying to focus and think on the bright side. Things happen for a reason (too cliche') and I know this one would turn into something good after all. And after thinking about other people's situation, mine could have been worse but it isn't. This is not something that cannot be solved. Most of all, I still have the urge to be a better human being, days are coming and I have the chance to make things better one day at a time.

A New Space A New Life

It's always hard for me to get inspiration. It always has to be the perfect spot, perfect time, perfect mood and so on and so forth. It's something I have been trying to work on for years. I want to be able to just write any time at any place, you know. Because if I wait for everything to be perfect, then there's not going to be much writing done. Oh well... but I am moving my desk again. I am in the process so right now my stuff are all over. I wonder how many days this will take me. Hey! Look! I am writing though...;) I'm so weird... and crazy too:)

Nevertheless, I am creating a new space and so I hope this will be a start again of something good. I feel so sad and I am doing something to lift my spirit up. Would you wish well for me?

I Will Miss You, Marie.

Circa 2006

Marie dear, I am sure you know how much I treasure you as my friend. It makes me sad to know that you are gone now but at the same time I thank God for not letting you live longer in pain. Though not enough time, I feel lucky to have had the chance to have known you. All the laughter and tears, the friendship, the company, even quarrels and disagreements we've had, I will always remember with gladness. You are a true friend and I thank you for everything you have thought me and done for me. You have been a good confidante and I admire you for all that you were. I hope that Madi will grow smart, courageous, and kind like you. Thank you for loving my baby too. 


I will miss you, Marie. Please say hello to my kuya for me, ok?

Feeling Vintage Kind of Day

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Vintage Look

Move Your Feet

Check out my Move Your Feet Photos:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/54842246@N08/sets/72157625217649385/

MOPs (Mothers of Preschoolers) Group

Today, I attended a moms group for the first time since I became a mother. I have been wishing to have something like this and at last, I found one. This particular group is from the church I go to which is another good thing because it's something we all have in common with aside from being moms. 

We had a guest speaker today who talked about postpartum depression. Although it's been two and a half years since Madi was born, it was still an interesting topic for me and I guess everyone else because a lot were sharing experiences.

After which, there was an activity today wherein everyone brought clothes and toys of their kids that they have outgrown and then you can also pick stuff you like for your own kids- a swap kind of thing. It was pretty neat! I got some pretty clothes for Madi and she had fun picking toys and books for herself as well- she got a cute flower necklace and a pocket book Hello Kitty mirror.

It was a swell group meeting and I plan to attend regularly. It would be a "me time" thing and at the same time my girl will also get a chance to interact with other kids.

Appreciate Beauty In Everything

Memory Keeper

I think I have mentioned in one of my blogs that I had this little mishap with my computer files (videos and photos in particular). Since Madi was born, I have been taking pictures and videos of her almost every single day and you cannot imagine how much I have collected in a span of more than two years. However, I have not been backing them up properly until my hard drive gave up. Then I had to go to this company who specializes in recovering files and pay them more than a thousand dollars. It's not a small amount of money and it's something that I do not want to happen again. So I have learned my lesson and now I do an automatic back-up on my computer and aside from that, I have been looking at sites where I can also save my photos and videos.

For videos, the only free place I know I can save them is YouTube. I am still in the process of uploading the videos as there is TONS of them. I am not sure how much more time it is going to take for me to be on track and I have not checked yet if there is a limit as to how much I can upload in YouTube.

For my photos, so far, the best one I got is Shutterfly. Reasons I find it to be the best:

1. I normally purchase pictures from them.
2. Storing is FREE and there is NO PURCHASE NEEDED. (Kodak Gallery cancelled my account because I did not purchase for a certain period of time.)
3. I also like the "Share Site" thing that Shutterfly has.
4. Aside from free storage of photos, Shutterfly always has other freebies almost all the time. What can I say, I'm cheap!

I found Flickr to be a cool site too but it has a limit of photos you can upload each month unless you pay. I would use it for sharing really good photographs though. If I were a professional photographer then I guess I would pay for Flickr;)

Suggestions or comments are welcome since I am not one hundred percent sure if putting all my photos and videos out there is a good idea too.

Oh Crap!

I'm sort of a man with a few words. I like to say things direct to the point, without any crap. That is the problem with me sometimes. I have these bunch of ideas in my head that I want to write about but I have a hard time making a good and long composition because I'm always afraid I might be redundant or have cliches. If a friend asks for an advice, I'd say what I feel straight away without any crap even (or maybe, especially) when she's wrong and then I hurt her feelings. When I am upset, I burst into madness right there and then without thinking if I have the right to be mad at all. I think I should learn the art of talking crap sometimes... even though I hate craps? What do you think?

Overnight List for 2-1/2 Year Olds

Every stage, there's always new lists of stuff to pack for our kids- yes, it changes all the time... So let's see... Let me make a list of what I need to bring for an overnight trip for Madi:

1. pajama
2. 10 Diapers (Obviously, we are not potty trained yet.)
3. toothbrush and toothpaste
4. bottles
5. milk
6. cooler
7. food and snacks
8. towel, wash cloth, and toiletries
9. burp cloths (They are sort of her security blanket.)
10. favorite book to read at night
11. Lullaby playlist
12. 2 sets of outfits
13. socks
14. shoes
15. cleaning brush for the bottles

Looks pretty good to me... I think the list gets shorter as they grow older, doesn't it? I think I might be ready for a second baby now (wink)...

I Love Fall

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Madi & I

10/27/2010

The Way We Were

It's 1:30 a.m. and I'm watching one of my favorite movies, The Way We Were. I just love old movies...

Love of My Life.mov

Great Tuesday Photos

Great Tuesday Photos- 10/19/2009

Tuesday's Great

Today is Tuesday. Today is Madi's story time at Pottery Barn Kids. Today is Parenthood (the only tv show I get to follow religiously). Today is my night (meaning, Jon takes care of Madi and I get to do what I want). Today is Tuesday and it's great!

It's only been half a day and I am looking forward to more great stuff! On our way to story time, we drove along the side of the lake and saw good spots of foliage. I plan to go back later after Madi's afternoon nap and take pictures. I'm excited to use what Madi and I call our "professional camera"- dsl. I will definitely share the photos with you later.

Meanwhile, let me do some chores. See yah!

What I've Been Up To Lately

And so it still goes on... but still with a positive outlook ;)


I was away for maybe a a week or so... I was busy with my usual stuff: being a wife and mother. I've also been busy organizing my digital photos because of a mishap that happened a few months ago. Then I had my friend/ classmate/ cousin-in-law visit me from Manila for a couple of days. I've been reading and consistently on the tread mill every other day for two weeks now which I am very proud about. I'm actually considering joining a 5k run now.


As of the moment, I still have heaps of stuff to do but I'm happy. Just give me a moment to get organized and I will be regularly blogging.


I wish everyone well especially my family and friends.

Grounds for Sculpture-1

An interesting site at the Grounds For Sculptures in NJ.

Time For Myself

For the longest time, I have kept on asking my husband to give me time for myself- meaning, a little break from taking care of our baby and doing things for myself (like blogging, scrapbooking... just anything that I enjoy and FOR MYSELF). But I have never really been able to get that "time off" because as long as I am at home and I see or hear them both, there is no stopping me from doing all the things I normally do for the household. I'm sure all the mothers out there know what I mean...


Finally, after twenty nine months, I have found a way to get my time! I just go out to the gym, bring a reading material, and listen to my own music. It feels good to have at least half an hour or so without me opening my mouth calling, "Madi, let's eat! Madi, time to take a bath! Jon, can you do this for me!" Aside from the peace and quiet, I get to exercise which is a good thing, right?

Always Together

Being a mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am glad that I am able to spend all my time with Madi, see her grow and learn new things, and guide her in every step.

Talk About Blogging Etiquettes

Read in a magazine this morning... (Artful Blogging- Aug/Sept/Oct 2010 Issue) Good to have known that there is such a thing as "blogging etiquettes." If not, then I would have not been here right now. As you can see, there are big gaps in every blog I have here. It's like now you read me, now you don't. It's my biggest problem. I want to do this but just can't seem to do it right.

One of the rules is "Do: Let your readers know if you're to be away from your blog for awhile, and tell them when you'll be back. That way, they won't have to keep checking back to look for a post that does not appear." Apparently, I think I must have said many times how sorry I was to be away and that I promise to stay from then on or something to that effect. But then, I disappear again... Ok, now, I won't apologize. Let's just see how finding out about this etiquette will affect me. I hope it brings me to the right path. I truly want this thing to be a routine and... just everything I hope this blogging to be. It has been years and it's just about time I do something good, nice, wonderful, meaningful, and artful! Oh God... please help me.

Now, I won't even say "see you tomorrow..." but for now, I have to take a rest. It's been a long day with the baby and my parents visiting. Let's just see what tomorrow brings and hope for the best. Night-night!

Excuse Me Again

I've been gone awhile again. My hard drive broke down and I spent weeks of working trying to recover my files. It's pretty much all good now although there were some files that I couldn't get back and most of them were photos and videos from my Toronto trip in August. It is such a bummer but I'm glad  to have Madi's photos back. It's all fun memories that I want her to see when she grows up.

Another thing that I've lost from this mishap is my website and I didn't want to do it all over again so I just opened this blogspot to make it easier and I tried to enter some old stuff in here as well. At least it saves me from paying too. So FYI, eonago.com is gone and eventually might be someone else's site.

Like I've been saying to myself lately... lesson learned. I will now back-up and back-up and back-up.

My files are pretty much in order now so I hope to be able to do what I have to do now. Stick around...

Madison

My daughter was born in April of 2008. We live in New York and getting a nanny is quite expensive so my husband and I decided that I quit work and just take care of our baby full-time. Not just the financial part but even if we have the money, I think that I'd still choose to take care of Madi myself. I like being able to see her every development and being able to guide her every step of the way. It is just the most rewarding thing I have ever done and I am simply loving it. Yes, it is a lot of work and it is not always easy... but at the end of the day, when you look at your child sleeping peacefully, it will blow all the aches you feel on your body. Babies to me are literally miracles.


My "miracle" is now almost 2-1/2 years old. She has her own mind now: she likes to pick her own clothes, do what she wants to do and will not do what you want her to do. You could say that she is now a little devil but again, at the end of the day, she is still my angel, my miracle, and I thank God for her.

Meet Madi

The Love of My Life

Starting Over Again

I started blogging since 2005 but I have never been consistent. I would get into it, then get tired of it after awhile, and then close the account. This would be my fifth attempt, if you want to know.

There are a few different reasons why I couldn't make blogging a routine: One of them is that I felt that there should only be just one topic that I should be focusing on or writing about but I guess I just have to face the fact that I am not an expert on anything or one thing. Another is that when my blogs start to get personal, I tend to hold back like I don't want the whole world to know everything about me but again, I guess not everyone will really read everything I write- I can't be that interesting like a celebrity. Third, it's just so hard for me to get inspired. I feel that if I am not happy with every aspect of my life, I can't write anything. However, I feel that I should learn now how to ignore the negatives that surround me so only positive things can occure- like blogging!

I am hoping that somehow, while I share my life, journals, arts & crafts, I may be able to inspire and be inspired in the process.

Is It Really Saturday?

Jon had a product release today and so had to work.  Madi and I enjoy spending time together but on weekends we have our mind set to having daddy with us. 

Even though she can recite the seven days of the week, she really does not know yet if it’s Monday or whatever day it is exactly. So she wakes up without dad and I guess she assumes it is a normal weekday for us. She asks me to put on Sesame Street and I say, “there’s no Sesame Street today.” She then requests for Word World then I say, “no Word World.” I guess she realizes then that it feels like we’ve been together for more than five days now and that it’s a weekend and she tells me, “I miss Daddy.” 

It breaks my heart whenever I hear her say that she misses her dad. I want her to spend as much time as possible with Jon because (I think) usually girls like to be close to dads. For instance, my sister and I are both close to our dad. I hope my mom won’t be jealous when she reads this (because I love her as much as I love my dad) but there is just a different kind of bond between father and daughter. There are things you can’t do or can’t say when you are with mommy and vice versa. So that is why I feel it is important that Madi and Jon should have plenty of bonding time.

Oh, at Madi’s age, I can now say that there are times she enjoys doing stuff with Jon rather than me. Like she seem to like swimming more with him than with me, she likes only Jon to read her certain books, likes it more when Jon brushes her teeth and gives her a bath. I know why anyway... Jon lets her play with her toothbrush, her sponge... and everything else. It’s just a bit more fun for her. But that’s okay, she deserves to play and have fun so I like it when she and her dad have fun together and I... can take a BREAK. Lol.

And so... Madi and I are missing Daddy today... :( Sigh...

One More Week

Exactly a week from now, my baby will turn 2! I am so happy that in a span of two years, she has grown so much and learned a lot. She can recite and read the alphabets and numbers, knows the colors and shapes, can count with her fingers and things, she’s been attempting to write letters now, drawing, and painting, and most of all she talks in sentences... She says the most hilarious stuff and she amazes everyone. I just can’t be any prouder and happier of her.

Who's Getting Ready?

Madi is getting bigger now. She talks a lot, she knows a lot of things now (she may even pass for kinder already), and I think I can start leaving her bit by bit in a daycare or to her dad. I mean, I just want her to get used to not being with me all the time. So I am now starting to look for part-time jobs in the area. I worked for almost a decade with my last job so applying for jobs is kind of new to me. They do things differently now-from creating resumes to taking aptitude tests and interviews... Almost every process is online. I’m not sure if walking in to submit your application is still acceptable... Is it? Oh boy, I feel so old. But I have to learn the new ways no matter what. Sigh...

Rain Rain Go Away

Today is expected to be worse than yesterday but I have prepared for it. When Madi and I went out yesterday, I got her new sets of crayons, markers, and water colors- all washable. In a suburban place, you always have to be ready to get stuck at home for any reason. I think I have to make a comparative pros and cons list between living in the city and in a suburb but just on top of my head right now, all I can think of that I miss in Queens is the convenience of the location- I walk outside the apartment, there’s my grocery store, bunch of all kinds of restaurants, Asian market... you name it. So even on a rainy day like this, it still wouldn’t be a problem to go out. Here in Princeton, if it’s a pretty bad rain like this, it’s such a hassle to drive and kind of taking a risk too. Some trees fall down and other areas get flooded. The last time it rained hard was about a couple of weeks ago. We drove to a friend’s house in North Plainfield to watch a boxing fight. I have never seen so much flood in my entire life in New York or the Eastcoast, for that matter. I heard in the news last night that today a lot of New Jersey residents might have the same problem they encountered from that last downfall of rain- many had a lot of damages in their homes. I hope the best for everyone, stay dry, and let’s pray this rain will go away.

Not A Manic Monday

Normally Monday is really manic (just like the song) for me and everyone. At least it just feels like it because it’s a day after the fun and relaxing weekend. Luckily, today is not a manic Monday for me. Yes, it was raining all day, I did some errands, and household chores but somehow still feels relaxed. I don’t know why but it is a good thing, right? I hope everyday feels like today.

Night Swim Is Fun

3/27/2010

Last night after dinner, we spontaneously decided we’d go swimming and just drove to a nearby hotel. It was about 9:30 when we left the house and boy it was nice to be in an indoor heated pool on a cold night with my baby. It was fun and relaxing at the same time. Madi’s been enjoying swimming lately. I wonder what kind of sports she’ll be into when she grows up...

Well we got home around 11:30 and the three of us were knocked out- a goodnight sleep.

Julie & Julia

Just watched the movie, Julie & Julia on instant play Netflix tonight with my husband and daughter. I enjoyed it very much because it was funny, inspiring, and more because I can relate with Julie about a lot of things like living in Queens, wanting to be a writer, and starting things and not finishing them- that is me! Though I hope that one day I would be able to figure out what I really want to do in life and be able to prove it to everyone, just like Julie Powel.

From the movie, I am assuming that Julie and I are about the same age. However, she is now and successful and well-known writer and here I am in my mid thirty’s and a nobody. BUT as they say... It Is Never Too Late... I am a big believer in that.

There’s a part in the movie though that hit me and maybe the difference between Julie and I. She said that both Julia and her cook because they love their husbands so much. Well... I cook because I need to but I also love my husband. Does it mean I love my husband less because I don’t cook with joy? Well... thinking about it, whether or not, I guess I should think about it that way, that I do it to please the one I love so that I will be successful in cooking. I think that is the answer to my worries... to love what I do. I think that if maybe I give myself more credit in the things I do, I wouldn’t give up on them easily and be able to finish something and be a master of it as well. The problem with me is that I get interest on one thing, I try it, and then that’s it. I don’t go further. Does that make sense to you at all?

Anyway, I hope that after today, I would be able to write a blog everyday. I’ve had a lot of excuses for not writing but enough of that. And another thing I have on my list is to try my best to enjoy cooking because I love my husband. But I am definitely not writing a cookbook...

What To Do

My husband is going to play poker today with his officemates which means I don’t have to prepare dinner for him. All I need to worry about is Madi and myself. For some reason I am sort of panicking on what to do. I have so much things in my mind and I can’t pick or don’t know where to start. 

Okay, Madi and I have finished breakfast and also just finished watching Sesame Street. I have cleaned up the mess in the living room, cleaned up the kitchen, and made-up the bed. I guess we can now take a shower and get ready. I have no plans, still adjusting to suburban living... but hey, that’s what GPS are for. I just hope that Madi will enjoy the day as we have been stuck home the past couple of days.

It’s 11:25 and we are ready to go! Talk to you later!

Color Me Awesome

I bought this 365 Days of Coloring book thingy supposedly for Madi but I realized that I can’t control her of how many pages to color in a day and I didn’t want to mess-up the purpose of the book so I thought I’d just use it for myself. Since it’s the 5th of January now, I did five pages. I find it sort of therapeutic... I color, think of different strokes, add some creativity to it and think nothing except the fun of doing it. It relaxed my mind. I think it’s a good idea to do this every night after a tiring day. 

Another interesting thing is that I have never touched crayons in a very long time and I noticed that there are so many new colors now. There is a color that’s called “awesome” and I love it. It’s bright and brightness just gives me a positive energy.

New Year

There’s been hardships last year but I feel that there is more to be thankful for than anything else. Aside from that, it is not really healthy to be counting the negative stuff. No matter how bad the situation might have been, just being alive surpasses all the pain. That is the number one thing I am thankful for- being alive and healthy. Thankful for everyone’s (my family and friends) presence in this world.

Second that I am thankful for is that in spite of the bad economy, my husband is able to keep his job and truly appreciate that he is doing his best to be able to provide for the family. I don’t want to be a hypocrite- I know that there were times that I complained about not having enough and I forget the more important things in life and because of that, I will try to be a better person this year- I have to keep reminding myself that as long as we get to eat everyday and we don’t owe money from anyone, that is enough.

Third that I am thankful for is my daughter, Madi. I wish to have atleast one more child but if circumstances don’t allow it, I would honestly be happy with Madison. She is a beautiful child, healthy, and smart. She brings joy to everyone especially to me and Jon. She is just the best thing I ever had and I love her- I can’t ask for anything more.

There is really more to be thankful for if you really think about it. You should try to sit and reflect on it because it is good for your mind and soul. I wish that everyone achieve their goals for 2010, good health, peace, and love. Happy new year!